spoiler: every day is today
Please permit me, as I cross the threshold of my mid-thirties, pretending that that has meaning, to share some things.
Rejecting the condition of being in a state of readiness to start anything. I have a bike that I got for £20 off Gumtree with CONFIDENCE emblazoned along the down tube. The fact that it’s stationary makes me laugh a bit too hard.
Accepting that I will always have a tendency towards intense sensation, in any direction. Recently, I’ve been rubbing any non-intimate skin with Tiger Balm - the red kind, no pussyfooting here - to get my kicks before bed.
Shaving my hair to a Grade Three twice to three times a year is the action related to my appearance that removes friction in my moment-to-moment experience of being in a body. Maybe it’s the exact opposite for you, that untouched long hair does the trick. I implore you to find out.
Letting the soft animal of my body love what it loves, whether that’s lifting heavy stuff for a fraction of a second or when my current birthday aligns with the same day of the week as my 0th birthday.
Trusting that just because I’m slow in winter, I’ve not suddenly become useless. I’m deciduous. Better service resumes in BST.
Concerning myself less with being a good, likeable, and successful person and more with being a kind, honest, and present person.
Ignoring thoughts that tell me not to reach out to other people because I or they are X or Y. They’re wrong, without fail.
Cultivating, “oh, woe,” to “oh, whoa!”
Feeling through feelings. It’s not news - but it’s happening.
Doing my darnedest to be in the day. This day. This one!
Forgiving myself for not managing any of the above.
Wednesday's Child
spoiler: every day is today